If blogging were an Escher painting I would make mine have polka dots and sell hot dogs to refugees. I mean that in the most politically correct possible of course. You can't be too careful these days. It is an election year in the lower east equator and I am looking to continue my reign as most supreme awesome maker of cheese sculptures. Do you think in other countries people try to think about what it is like in other countries? Too bad there is no way to find out. What we need as a race is to develop a system of these things called computers(magic newfangled machines that talk in numbers) and connect them to each other of this massive "network" allowing them to share information with each other and thusly giving us access to so much that all we can do with it is watch porn since we have no real idea of how to use it fully. That would be amazing. Imagine what that would be like. I could type something into one of them "computers"(see earlier parentheses) and "post" these here thoughts onto said "network" and people everywhere could read it and worry about me and ask me if I'm okay the next day. What a sweet world that would be. We could call it the internet and Al Gore could tour the world with Gary Gygax claiming he invented and protects the space time continuum. What an amazing world indeed.
I just thought of puppies in Star Trek. You never see them. What the fuck? They are cute and useful to make someone appear innocent until they suddenly turn into a giant space donut laser beast with fangs of obliterarium! Why didn't any bad guy ever think of that? Seriously. That would have been motherfucking sweet to be exact.
*Pauses to check on laundry drying.
*Returning with a new fervor!
Maybe we should invent a pizza that does math and surfs the internet while you eat it. Pus it gives you stock quotes or essential nutrients. But, only one. You gotta pay extra to get both. You can't give away too much. Come to think of it they probably already have that in Japan. I bet if we debuted it here in the USA(Merica! FUCK YEAH!!!) the Japanese would laugh at us and mock us because they already had that in the 80's while we were busy thinking Colecovision was that bomb ass diggity shit. My text editor thinks I have a billion spelling errors right now because of all of my colloquialisms, but I know it is wrong and I am actually spelling those words correctly since they are not actually words and I am making them up as I go along here. Much like the rest of this blog. But, the moral of this story kids is that drugs are bad and no one should force bats to fly at night just to see what happens. That's wrong. Would you want someone to burn your house down and pour fire ants on you to see if the fire fuels some kind of super rage that turns them into an army of super fire army ants? No, no one would and if you do then you have more problems that just catching bats. Stay safe and don't start a nuclear power system unless you want the United States(Merica! FUCK YEAH!!!) Navy in your surrounding seas ready to disable your entire military no matter what the collateral damage may be. Peace.
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