vegan ice cream I love you

So, today I was extremely creative and almost finished my new record. I am very proud of myself. It was as if I was on a music creation rampage and not the kind that turns you into a raging mutant bent on the destruction of small cities getting larger as you go constantly being troubled by the military. No, the good kind. All of these ideas just came out of my brain and it was pretty cool. I tried some new stuff I have never done before and I must say it came out pretty good. I am very excited. You can be proud of me too when you hear it later this summer. It's gonna be on iTunes and I'm shamelessly plugging my creative endeavors right now. I use the name attacks the darkness by the way. Yay for me. The internet is one of my favorite non tangible things that is so very important to me. It's right up there with air and the need to swear. that fucking rhymed. I once had a pet grizzly bear named opus and he used to shoot a bazooka at clowns in guam. I had to let him go since being at my house so far from guam and not killing clowns at a rate that could only be described as FANTASTICAL(in all caps on purpose for impact) was making him sad, so I had to let him go to be himself. It's like the saying goes, if you love something set it free, if it doesn't write you because it's too busy "living it's dream" then they're a prick and it's okay to hope they stub their toe.


Part 2: Back from the grave the man with no purgatory license dog walking POWERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Many years ago there was a place where a man could go and find himself a place where he knew he belonged. Those days are long gone and behind us now. We need to think about the future and where it's taking us. By the way, in case you didn't know, the future is an actual living sentient being with the knowledge of itself. It's the only living thing that can do that. It can actually predict everything it is going to do with 100% accuracy. And because of this it has the power to drag us along with it on this crazy journey known as existence in a universe that is most likely kept in an old coffee can on god's shelf in his garage that he used to keep extra nails in before he made all of what we do and do not know because of a bet he lost in a bar when he was trying to look cool to pick up this chick he wanted to bang and has now completely forgotten about us. So, now we have to endure everything that is coming at us without any way to prepare for it, all the while the future is sitting back with a smug look on its face just loving every god damned minute of our lives. What a jerk. Fuck you future. That's right, you heard me, I said it. Fuck you future. Fuck you and the smarmy train you took from asshole-ville to get here.