fo shizzle...

I'm pretty sure I'm psychic. I guessed the release of my laundry. That makes me better than four fifths of all of the magic dwarves out to get humanity. Yay for me. You think I've got issues? Talk to the dwarves bent on the domination of the human race. They've got some serious problems. I recently made some better song title choices and I am proud of myself. Some people will laugh at the idea of what they say. Some of that laughter will come from confusion and thought of the pure absurdity of what I titled one of my songs and the rest of that laughter will come from the people who are aware of what I'm referring to. Which I've noticed lately doesn't happen that often. So, if you are one of the few be proud and know that you are either smart or just as screwed up as me to get one of the many references I make to this here popular culture. I just made one, did you notice?!?!? Just kidding, I'd have to be KD Lang to do that so quickly. Once I watched Flash Gordon at three am and it was good. Anything involving Queen at that hour must be good. I am excited about stuff and am not sure if I should be, but fuck it, you only live once and only get one chance on this earth to fuck up perfectly great relationships by committing acts of atrocity. Man, all of my friends are gonna question what the hell is going on with me when they read this shit. I always assure them that I just am streaming words out of my brain when I write these things. I just go with what is in my brain and it comes out my hands. I don't think about what I am typing, I just let my soul do the talking. It's almost as if I'm going soul-o. There! That was one, did you notice that one? Maybe one day we'll all have a robot friend and they'll be able to have all of our relationships for us and we won't have to worry about judgment or touching skin. Won't that be sweet? When one day technology hasn't gotten to the point that we no longer have to have meaningful real contact with others and we can just go about our electronic lives in peace. Since those are so much better than anything else we could possibly do in our little organic existences. One day I will make glasses that allow you to see the world as you wish. Be it as a cartoon or with just a little less garlic. A vampire might wear them, you never know. That's why I keep my can of holy water in the fridge all the time and have since 1996. Vampires might come and want to do the thing they do that is not good for human living. I got it on a plane coming from France, so you know it's for real. French mineral water is holy, that's why they don't get fat or die from liver disease. It's that or they just don't give a shit. Who wants to vote for a new president? Neh, fuck it, I am too busy giving a cigarette to a baby. Life is ennui. God, I love the french. They get me and I heart their bread. Oh, to live in the south of france swimming in an ocean of warmth stalking Johnny Depp. One day I will make my dreams come true and then the world should beware for that day is nigh!!!!!!!!!!!! Man, that sounded all prophetic and biblical and shit. Good for me. I just made a list and only checked it once. Take that Santa Claus or as I like to call you Santa figment of the imaginations of mislead youth soon to jaded to the real world due to lies of myth and farce Claus beeeeeotch! On that note I will leave you with a sentence. I have a dog named Dougie and he likes to eat his poop, if only I could get away with that.