my brain is out to get me.

Lately when I drink the alcohol I black out and don't remember a thing the next day. I end up getting these phone calls from people asking if I'm alright and I say I'm fine. They are always surprised. I ask them why and they begin to tell me of all of the things that I said and did the night before. Starting fights, crushing cans on my face, falling into puddles of water face first, screaming at people, and shoving my face in one of my friends crotch. I am usually shocked by most of what I'm told. It's an odd feeling, though. It seems like when I black out my sub-conscious takes over and makes me do these things. I'm not sure how to describe it really. Other than that I think my brain is out to get me. It is very disconserting to be afraid of one's own mind. I'm not sure what it will make me do next. I have this feeling of me and my brain slowly serparating. Is this what it's like to go insane? I know that sounds a little dramatic, but if I'm going insane wouldn't I be entitled to a little over-acting? I'm not sure what to do about it. As time goes by I feel as if I'm slipping more and more into where ever my brain is taking me and I'm not sure if I want to go there or not. Very weird.